


I feel like everyone forgot I exist

by nancy01



Series: Prompt list [2]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Depressed Harry, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Louis Tomlinson Loves Harry Styles, M/M, Protective Louis Tomlinson, Sad Harry, Sad Harry Styles, Substance Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-11
Updated: 2021-01-11
Packaged: 2021-03-16 05:14:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28701261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nancy01/pseuds/nancy01
Summary: Louis had a bad feeling, and he wasn't spiritual or anything, but after living with Harry for the past three years he'd kind of started to believe some of that hippy shit.And that hippy shit said that if something didn't feel right, it probably wasn't, and that was why Louis found himself at 10am on a Monday morning sprinting across campus back to his dorm one hour into his lecture. Because he had a feeling that something was wrong with Harry, and when it came to the curly boy, there was no taking any chances, because Louis doesn't know how he'd cope if he lost Harry.
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson
Series: Prompt list [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2103849
Comments: 2
Kudos: 55





	I feel like everyone forgot I exist

**Author's Note:**

> This was very different to anything I've written before, I'm a little sleep deprived so I don't know if it's good different or shit different, I'll let you decide.
> 
> MAJOR TRIGGER WARNING: Mentions of overdosing/implied suicide. It's also quite sad.
> 
> This is prompt number 20 with 11 and 15
> 
> If you want to request another one, let me know which, or if you have another prompt line, let me know.
> 
> Enjoy??

Louis had a bad feeling, and he wasn't spiritual or anything, but after living with Harry for the past three years he'd kind of started to believe some of that hippy shit.

And that hippy shit said that if something didn't feel right, it probably wasn't, and that was why Louis found himself at 10am on a Monday morning sprinting across campus back to his dorm one hour into his lecture. Because he had a feeling that something was wrong with Harry, and when it came to the curly boy, there was no taking any chances, because Louis doesn't know how he'd cope if he lost Harry.

He remembered when he first met Harry, the 16 year old having won a scholarship to Louis' private boarding school, and sharing a room together. It was clear Harry felt out of place, he wasn't of the same social status as the rest of the school, he was poor, and Harry got picked on for that. So Louis instantly became protective over him, making sure no-one would chat shit about him.

And sure, it had taken a lot of effort and time to get to talk to Harry, despite them sharing a room, but eventually he did, and before long they'd become inseperable. Harry had confessed one night, snuggled up next to Louis on his bed, that he maybe didn't like girls, and that meant he wasn't normal, right? And Louis had been quick to assure that it was fine, he was normal, and maybe he also didn't like girls, which ended with Harry in his lap and shy, hesitant lips pressing against his own.

The rest had been history, as they say. After finishing their a-levels at their school, they'd both moved to the same uni, Louis studying drama with English, and Harry sound engineering. It was perfect.

But recently, Louis hadn't seen his boyfriend. Like at all. They'd both gotten jobs to help pay for rent, despite Louis assuring Harry his family had more than enough money to pay for the both of them. Harry said he didn't want to look like charity, and Louis knew how uncomfortable money made him, so they'd both gotten small part time jobs. Simples.

Except what with trying to fit in at a new school, stay on top of class work, make friends, Harry's work making him go in way more than he should, they'd barely seen each other. And Louis couldn't shift this feeling.

Even if he got back to the apartment and Harry was fine, Louis didn't care. He'd be thrilled just to spend a small amount of time with him, make sure he's okay, tell Harry to calm down with the work load he had on. Just talk to him.

Louis' feet pounded against the concrete as he ran up the stairs two at a time to reach their shitty apartment. It was small, and it wasn't in the best part of town, and Louis would never let his father see it, but it was perfect for them. It was home. 

Although Louis would happily admit that home had a long ago just become where ever Harry was.

"Haz?!" Louis shouts through the apartment as he shoves the door open, no response coming back. "Harry? Baby I know you're here, the door wasn't locked. Where are you?" 

Still no response. Considering the apartment is tiny, it doesn't take long for Louis to work out Harry's in the bathroom. With the door locked. Fuck.

He knocks softly on the door. "Haz, can you open up for me sweetheart? It's Lou."

Louis just hears sniffles, making his heart break. "G'way," he hears a feeble voice mutter.

"Baby please. I just want to help," Louis whispers, resting his head on the door.

He was scared about what he might find on the other side of that door. He really didn't want a repeat of their second year in school. 

Harry was 17. Louis was so scared. He'd come back to their dorm to find Harry passed out on the bathroom floor, head resting on the toilet with a ton of pills on the floor.

Louis feels a tear slip down his face as he remembers the fear he felt watching the ambulance with Harry in drive away. Powerless.

"Harry, you have to let me in. I, I need to help," Louis says again, voice breaking as more tears slip down.

He hears some shuffling before a small click sounds through the room, indicating the door being opened. The older boy carefully pushes the door open, chest hurting at the sight be sees.

Harry was in a ball on the floor, hair disheveled, a clear sign he'd been tugging away at it again, tears streaming down his face, and a bottle of pills on the floor, a few spilled into Harry's shaking hands.

Louis lets out a shaky breath, shutting the door behind him and slowly kneeling down. "Hey, darling. Is it okay if I take these away for a minute?"

Harry's wide eyes shoot up to Louis', fear racing through them as he slowly nods.

Louis extends his hand, carefully tilting Harry's hands so the pills fall onto his own, before sliding them back into the bottle and placing it on the counter away from Harry.

"Did you take any?"

Harry shakes his head, curls falling in front of his face in shame and his eyes fall back to his lap. The boy pulls his knees up so he's hugging himself, rocking back and forth slightly, bumping his head against the wall each time he does.

Louis crawls in front of him, pulling Harry's legs down a little and pulling his head gently away, a hand behind so he won't hit the wall. "Hey, don't do that, you'll hurt yourself."

Harry buries his face in his hands as he falls forward onto Louis' chest, sobs beginning to rack through his body. "I'm so sorry," he whispers feebly.

"Shh, don't apologize," Louis whispers, holding Harry protectively against his chest and combing through his hair, "don't apologize, sweetheart, it's okay. Let it all out."

They sit like that for a while, Harry somehow making his way onto Louis' lap and gripping his shirt tightly into his fists, sobs eventually subsiding into little whimpers and hiccups.

"You ready to talk about it?" Louis asks softly, rubbing a comforting hand up and down Harry's back.

Harry sighs and releases his grip, sliding off of Louis' lap and sitting in front of him with his head hung down.

"I wanted to take them, but I couldn't. I couldn't, Lou. Because every time I went to I kept seeing your face when I woke up last time, and I can't do that to you again. Does that make me a whimp? Does it make me pathetic? I can't even do this right," Harry says shakily, playing with a loose thread on his shorts.

"It doesn't make you pathetic, Harry. It makes you strong, so strong. Because you didn't let the bad thoughts get the better of you. I'm so proud of you for not taking them again, yeah? I can't stand the thought of losing you, Hazza, you understand that right?" Louis says, lifting a hand to rest against Harry's cheek as the younger boy lifts his head up slowly.

"I do. I'm really sorry."

"Hey, I already told you, don't apologize. Do you want to tell me why you wanted to overdose again?" Louis says shakily, way too scared for the answer.

Harry shakes his head. "It's stupid."

"No, it's not," Louis says firmly, "if it make you feel like this then it's not stupid. You're not stupid. Okay?"

Harry nods. "I just, uh, it feels like everyone just forgot I exist," he whispers, "My family don't care about me since I told them about you, Niall's moved away, you're always busy. I feel like everyone's better off without me. I'm a burden, my mum's disappointed in me, my father's disowned me. You deserve better than me. I'm not worth it."

Louis holds back a sob of his own. Once upon a time, Harry had been really close with his family. But they were all very religious, and apparently that meant he wasn't allowed a boyfriend.

Louis decided from that awful day he was always gonna hate Harry's family, but Harry couldn't. He still loved them all and he even wore that damn cross around his neck, still went to church every Sunday. If anyone one wasn't worthy of something, it was Harry's family. They deserved someone like Harry in their family.

"Harry, you have to understand that you are the most important thing in my life. You always will be. I don't have a clue what my future looks like, and that would be scary except it's not, because I know you'll be there with me to do it together. It's you and me, baby, till the end. Your family don't deserve you if they don't accept you for who you are. My family is your family now, okay? You are absolutely not a burden, Haz. If anything, I don't deserve you. I'm so sorry for not making time for you recently, but that's gonna change. You're going to quit your shitty job, and you're going to start spending the time on yourself. Understand? I don't want you being unhappy all the time, babe. Is that okay?" Louis says, stroking a curl behind Harry's ear.

"I can't pay rent if I stop working, Lou. We've talked about this," Harry whispers, face red.

Louis hates how Harry still gets embarrassed from having less money than him.

"Like I said, my family is your family. They will pay for it, for as long as you need. But this can't keep going on, baby. I don't wanna come home and see you like this again. I want you to be happy," Louis whispers.

"But-"

"No buts. If not for you, for me. Like I said, I can't stand the idea of one day not having you around. So for me, quit your job, spend a little more time here, work on yourself. We can have date nights again and you can meet up with Niall on weekends and you won't be staying up until silly o'clock trying to get work finished. Try it for a month, for me, and we can see how we feel after that. I'll stop working too, if it helps?" Louis suggests, rubbing soft circles into Harry's cheek with his thumb.

"Okay. I love you, Lou. I only see you in my future too," Harry whispers, pressing a gentle kiss to Louis' lips to express his love.

Louis smiles gently and stands up, pulling his (annoyingly) taller boyfriend up. "C'mon, let's go for a little nap, and the we can order some lunch. I'll let you pick, my treat?"

Harry nods and follows Louis tiredly into the bedroom, curling up to his side and resting his head on Louis' shoulder. "Okay. Love you."

Louis smiles, stroking Harry's soft hair until he falls asleep. "I love you too, baby. More than you'll ever know. Don't scare me like that again, please. You're too special," he whispers to an unconscious Harry, pulling the blanket up and falling asleep peacefully knowing his boyfriend is safe again.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, let me know what you thought.
> 
> Go to the first work of this series to find the prompt list if you want to prompt something, or go there to request something completely different.
> 
> Love y'all


End file.
